When i read beh's pm in msn only i realise today is the last day of foundation..
YES. TODAY IS THE LAST DAY!
Why cant i realise it earlier??
Its the last day... After the 14 weeks, 14 weeks, 7 weeks of 3 semesters...
It has been so long...
I've waited this day for so long...
And now it reached.
But i'm not happy.
Not at all.
Refresh back the moments in class..
The first day i went into foundation..
I was in Stream B that time..
Then i was struggling whether should i change my course in degree..
Then, i changed. To stream A, after 2 weeks in Stream B class and met some nice people.
The first day i went into my class, TA 23, I was totally a stranger.
I know noone there.
I dislike that class.
I hate it.
Because all of them looks so new to me.
Then, Jean, talked to me. Asking me to join them.
Thus, I knew Jean, and then Ivy.
After that, I knew Yiwen and Swet Nie.
As time goes on,
we are getting closer.
Always spend time with them during school breaks and discuss assignment together.
From sem1 to sem3, my assignment group never change.
Yes i admit that we have arguments in our discussion. A lots.
But, i really miss those moments.
Wondered who will i meet in my degree.
What kind of people?
Cant imagine.
Step into sem2, the 5 of us are getting closer.
And i know another gang from NS + some same lecture with me.
ChooiLin, Ah fuk.. Then YapMun, Beh, became ah ba ah ma..
lol those moments are just so fun..
Sem 2 is my most fun sem among all.
So many happy moments in Sem2.
But unhappy things started in sem2 as well.
Quarrels, and end up like ng song each other..
Thus, there's scar between us...
Now came to sem3, the last sem.
finally we manage to spread our gang.
We added Kar Pui, Yen Ling.
But as the group getting bigger, the relationship is further.
For me.
I cant feel that i'm close with anyone anymore.
Not even 1.
But anyway, I found another daddy mummy who can take care me "some times" during this sem.
Thank you.
And we manage to hold a BBQ before we graduate our foundation.^^
Due to the BBQ, our relationships seems improved a bit.
For the whole class.
Now i understand why those peoples love to held class BBQ.
And now,
last day of the sem.
Although still have revision classes next week but it will be different.
Everything will be different from now.
I'm so regret.
Regret that i skipped class on the precious last day.
Its last day of foundation...
U BITCH
YES i bring my bf to my house always SO WHAT?
YES my bf sleep at my house SO WHAT?
YES he got my key SO WHAT?
U thought i dont want to move out?
If not I cant find anyone want to move to this area i've left DECADES ago!
U bitch.
U thought who you are?
U're only a LABOUR by the company.
NOT the OWNERRRRRRRRRRR.
So SHUT UR F*KING MOUTH UP!
BARK SOME MORE.
BARK.
One fine day i'll SLAP u on your FACE!
U BARK.
KEEP BARKING.
Now my bf stay at this block.
BUT NOT under YOU BITCH.
HAHA.
How do u feel??
FRUSTRATED?
BUT NTG U CAN DO! HAHAHA!
Then u find things to shoot on ME????????
LOL I PAID.
U BITCH.
I PAID UR SALARY!
U BARK?
Let's see when u'll die.
Grateful
I found that actually i'm very lucky.
I have a home.
I have a complete family.
I have parents who cares about me, even sometimes its a bit over.
I have best friends. The real ones.
I met someone who loves me very much. Although i don't know how long will it be, I hope it is eternal.
I always wished to have a brother. An elder one. Although i didn't get 1 from my sibling, I got a *god* one.
I went outstation.
I ate a lot of delicates.
I have been educated until university.
I'm not require to do part time job to support my life.
I met a lot of problems with friends in F5 but it makes me grow and didn't made me lost them. At the same time i gained another bunch of friendship.
I met a really nice net friend.
I have a group of very encouraging idols.
I was fulfilled by almost everything i want that is possible.
There are people cares about me.
There are people still missing me and remembering me although we had just spend 2 months with each other.
I was chosen for NS.
I have a easy to remember name.
Many people loves me.
--- more to be continue ---
Declaration
From this moment,
I will stop relying on you.
I will start to gain back the tons of independence that belongs to me before i met you.
Stop relying, stop hurting.
You hurt me until i was really trying to kill my feelings towards u.
Do you know that?
No you don't.
Everytime u did things that hurt me,
u said sorry, it was your careless.
Once, twice.
So many careless of you.
Do you ever think how will i feel?
Do you ever respect my feeling?
I'm a human.
I have feelings.
I've reached my limit.
Seriously.
I want to gain back my confidence its not because i want to give up on u.
No.
I still love you.
But i want to be myself without you.
I don't wish to stay in such condition forever.
Do you know how hard i feel?
I'm tired and frustrated, back from school.
But there's not even 1 hour we spent together.
And now we have to separate again.
Now seriously i ask you again,
If that's life, then why should we date?
What is date?
Date is care, spending time and love someone.
Yes you did the last one.
But can u give me the 1st and the 2nd?
Yes first maybe. Cut out those careless parts.
But the 2nd?
Hardly.
And i really cant stand your phone ringing in the midnight.
Okay it ring all the afternoon, or evening, FINE.
I'll try to ignore it.
But MIDNIGHT.
1am!
Sorry. I really cant tolerate it.
I've been longing the moments that we just started dating since so long ago.
Yes those are best of my life.
In my memories.
But i guess it will never come back again.
Things are so different now.
At least my heart cant feel the same.
Honestly.
Yes.
I've been hurt so many times.
I really cant get back the feeling last time.
I'm sorry.
And now.
I will learn to be a new me.
Or the older me.
Confidence, independence.
Here i come.
Rainy Days
I still love rainy days :)
I can walk 10km under than rain but not under the hot sun.
I can laugh and talk as loud as i can while noone can listen when i'm under the rain in the middle of the road.
That feeling was so so great!
My heart feels so comfortable when the wind blow towards me, blowing away all my problems off my mind.
I love raining :)
I was again feeling so frustrated today.
With no reason.
Maybe there is but I didn't realise?
Don't know.
I just know that i'm angry and frustrated.
Yes i'm going to p SOON.
ish.
Maybe that effects a bit.
I dont know.
Anyway,
here i am, alone again in the house.
He went out again.
And wont come back before 12am.
I really wonder.
Why people date, and I date.
People are always in pairs but i always need to be alone.
Why they can go to school together but i'm always going alone?
Why they can hang out together but i always need to stay at home alone, facing my computer?
So many whys.
But there is no answer.
The answer will just be, " I don't know what are u thinking. "
Yes u don't know.
Thanks for answering.
I rather i didn't hear anything.
I miss my friends so much..
Those i fooled today, i miss u so much.
If not i wont be so free to fool u :p
I WANT U GUYS!
I WANT U ALL BY MY SIDE!!!!!!!
MISS U GUYS LOTS!
