In order to grow,
you have to bare with loneliness.
Pain.
Ignorance.
Acting like you dont know.
Acting like you dont care.
Act like as if you're not hurt.
Hiding every true face if revealing it might hurt you.
Wearing a mask wherever you go.
All source of suffering thing you can think of.

To be honest i hate growing.

But then,
i think i'm now a friend with independent.
Or on the way to.
Reaching.
Soon.

Contented.

Had an enjoyable night again.
Not to say happy as last night but it's another night i longed for.
I really love the moments with the 6s.
It's still feel best after all.
I truly appreciate this gang of friends.
Our bond is like a magic.
We felt close although we might not be that close in real.
Just.
The bond.
Unexplainable.

Just like BG.
The 6s is another bond for me.
Guy side.
:D

And today,
I don't know why tai seems so frustrated when we start to study.
He's just... so.
Pek chek.
And this is the first time i'm scare of him.
Really.
A bit scare.
And i just sit there diam diam.
:x
But after chun and joo came,
he seems better a lot.
Phew.

This coming few days will be really tough days.
Tests.
Assignment.
By the time after next Saturday,
I will be a free kiddddddddddddddddo!
:D
But then it will be too late.
As some of my loves already back to Aus.
Sigh~
Why can't I get the perfect timing for just once?

Charice - In This Song

Charice - In This Song

I may not know where I'm going now
This broken road is trying to tear me down
But deep inside, I found

A secret place that I never knew
Where I feel safe when the world is untrue
Here's what I learned to do

Just sing this song
And it takes me right back where I belong
And everyday, there's a new bridge to cross
But I'm never far from home
If I put my heart, my soul, my whole
In this song, oh

I don't depend on friends
'Cause they come and go
My belief in myself is gonna carry me through

That's why I'm learning, oh
I'm learning, yeah
I'm learning to sing

Just sing this song
And it takes me right back where I belong
'Cause everyday, there's a new bridge to cross
But I'm never far from home
If I put my heart, my soul, my whole

I may not have
All the words
That I need to say yet
No, I won't
Always be
Strong but I'm never afraid

Because I hold my destiny
It depends on me alone
Alone

So just sing this song
And it takes me right back where I belong
And everyday, there's a new bridge to cross
But I'm never far from home
If I give my heart, my soul, my whole
I can give it my heart, my soul, my whole
In this song
In this song
In this song

old times.

The moon tonight is so bright.

The air today is so refreshing.

The mood today is just so great.

Spent my night at wei's house.
Studying.
Chatting.
Laughing.
Went loklok with them again.
Coming home near dawn again.

It feels like the old times.

The old times that i miss so much.

Everything is perfect except that seng is not here.
Ah~
Why is there always a slightly imperfect thing.

Anyhow,
tonight,
I'm a contented little child.
:)

I'm happy.

===
I slept on his clothes last night.
Well it's his clothes from his ex.
LOL.
But then he just bring and show me last time and it's with me until now.
He didn't plan to take back also.
Errrr cause the one who do facial for me suggest me to sleep on a cloth.
Clean one.
To prevent in case my pillow is dirty or wat.
And i cant find any of my unwanted clothes to sleep on.
And since i dont plan to wear his clothes.
I used it.
But then,
i dreamt him.
Is it because i sleep on his clothes then he come and appear in my dream?
Hmm.
Co-incident.
It's not a very nice thing to dream of.
As.
Well i kinda forgot what is it about.
Whatever.

And fun fair season is now back in Kampar.
Well,
i hate fun fair.
It was like hell fair to me.
Why?
Because that's the place where i had my last date with him.

About my test today.
Its

Dead.

I set you free.
Goodbye.
And dont ever come back.

Despicable Me. Inception.

I watched 2 movies in a day again.

Yes finally i watched Despicable Me!
In 3D version yes.
To say worth or not worth.
Actually just paying an extra of 6 bucks.
Just take as saving one meal to watch the movie.

And these yellow things is really cute!!!
Love their laugh.
Nyahahahahahahaha.
Haha.
Super cute.
And the little girl with the "bokbokbok" face and "It's so fluffayyyy"
OMG SO DAMN CUTE!

The only thing is that the 3D specs really annoys me.
Keep on falling down and pressing my nose.

And this is the second movie.

Now i understand why everyone say it is nice.
Except for someone who tell me it's not nice.
But i think i'll stand on the majority side.
:)
The story is special and full of imagination.
Seriously.
When i finish the movie i'm thinking whether am i dreaming or am i in reality.
HAHAHA.
Ok i'm too deep inside the movie.
But it's really a great movie.

===
Feel like im going to fall sick soon.
Thanks to durian and the shitty weather.
No i cant fall.
I have 2 midterms awaiting me.
Please save me.

durian love.

Ate whole lots of durian today!
Firstly roti durian.
Not durian bread.
Is roti canai and with durian inside.
Hmm for me the taste is just so so.
And after that ate the real durian.
Haha thank you chooilin!
Had a great + super full night.
Till now i still felt undigest.

人长大了，
成熟了吧。
有事情再也不想麻烦人家。
尤其是无相关的人。
慢慢地也学习将事情收在心低。
自己的事情，
自己承受就好。

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
IM GOING TO BREAK DOWN VERY VERY SOON!
FUCK!
I DON'T DESERVE THIS!
WHY DONT YOU ALLOW 5 PEOPLE IN A GROUP?!
DONT YOU KNOW YOU'RE KILLING ME BY ASKING ME TO DO THIS FUCKING BLOODY ASSIGNMENT ALONE?!
I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT IM DOING!
YOU FUCKTARD!
I HATE YOU!
I HATE YOU THAT MUCH AND THAT I CAN SLAP YOU TO DEATH IN YOUR FACE!

This is why i hate coming back to Kampar!
I feel stress.
Really really stressful.
Like a rubber being pull to the tightest point.
Further more,
it'll break.
STRESS.
FUCK YOU!

Out of no reason today i reflash back my breaking scene with him.
And i cried.
FUCK.
4 more days.
It'll be my deadline.
I want no more tears, no more sad, no more anger, no more feel towards him.
Or else my life will be in such a mess whenever he comes into my mind again.
Fuck.

EVERYTHING IS SO FUCKED UP TODAY!

Why is it whenever i was stress i feel like crying?
Or is it just because of the song.
F.
I'm weak.
And fragile.

Feeling down.
Sigh.
So unnecessary.
I must remember.
Even best friend of yours have their friends as well.
So as myself.
So.
Be carefree.
Be.
Carefree.

Night to relax.

Tada~
Yes.
I went back in ipoh and i attended SM's party~~~
I lovelovelove her expression when she saw me.
Hahaha.
That's the truly super super happy face that i never see in a long time.
Surprise~!!!

It's actually a last minute decision.
Never mean to cheat the whole world.
:)

And this is my full attire for the night~

Although there's many diff gangs during the party,
thank god i have my dears with me.
And the super funny rachelle haha.
Dear Laine,
nice catch up session with u!
You don't know how much i missed u.
:(

*hearts*

Personally super love this picture.
Don't really look alike me i guess?
Hmmmm.

I'm..

Super.

Duper.

Triple.


Quadruple.

Tired.

Ok i know im lame.

Another test in 5 hours times.
Phew.
I needa rest.

Maybe...
Hope i wont make the wrong decision.

Btw,
my eating appetite recently is like a growing child.
FML.

Goodbye my first pair of contact lens.
:(

Dream.

I dream the 6s last night!
They come and pay a visit at my house.
I mean in kampar.
LOL.
Very sudden.
And don't know why i have an additional guy housemate in the house.
With a super annoying dad of his.
And in the end i force to kill the freaking old man.
I miskilled him.

OMFG i killed someone in my dream.

G.Na ft Beast - I'll Back Off So You Can Live Better

꺼져 줄게 잘 살아
G.Na ft Beast

I’ll back off so you can live

Say it directly, looking at me
Say it looking into my eyes
Did you just say you wanted to break up?
Did you want to end it with me?

(I Know) You probably got a lady
(I Know) You probably got sick of me
Even though the tears are rushing to me

I’ll back off so you can live
That is all I can say
I’ll forget you so you can live better
So that you’ll be happy without me
The love that you tossed away, you can take it
Don’t even leave a trace behind and take it all
Don’t even say you’re sorry
Don’t worry about me

Your lips that told me tha you were going to leave
Why does it give me a reason to be angry today?
I need to stop you, the words don’t go out
And you are already moving far apart

(I know) You will forget me
(I know) I will really hate you
Even though you know everything

You! The reason I lived
You! Were all I wanted
You! It was me who only looked at you

Why? Why are you leaving?
Why? Why are you tossing me away?
If you were going to be like this
Why did you love me in the first place?

Do you happen to remember that day?
That day when we first met
I still remember it
The promise you made to me
That you will only care for me
That you will only protect me
That you will only love me
I believed your lies, I believed it

Did you really love me?
I’ll forget you so you can live better
Goodbye

Normal days.

My days are so normal recently.

It's so normal that i don't know what and how to blog.
Sleep.
Wake.
Go for class.
Eat.
Study.
Wow.
I'm so normal.
Hahaha.
Well but my sleeping time still almost dawn.
I shall slowly adjust it.
Maybe after my exam period though.
Midtermsssss.
MIFS down today.
If i study more for sure i'll know how to answer.
Anyhow,
it's over.
Have to start Business Finance tomorrow.
But then i'm worrying.
As my class is from 1230-8pm tomorrow.
When i'm back i'll be deadly tired.
Sigh~
Shall see how.
4 chapters.
Shouldn't be that i hard.
I hope.


As i stayed home too much these days,
i went out tonight.
Joining them for badminton.
But i just don't feel like playing.
I don't want to be so tired.
As i'm already tired.
So this is what i do when they're playing.

See my pretty slippers?
LOL.
Yea i just sat there for the whole night.
Actually i don't feel like going.
As it's quite rush.
I went home for less than half an hour and i have to go out again.
But then,
don't really feel like staying in the room again.
And i think recently i seldom join their activities.
Thus i went.
Well,
normal day as well.
Nothing special.
And i felt something changed with the EEs.
Hmmmm maybe i'm over sensitive.
But whatever.
It's non of my business and i don't want to care.

Ah~
I pressed the wrong shift for my game and i can't sleep now.
LOL.
Applying mask.
Hope my fucking retarded face will heal soon.

Btw i feel like i'm sorta in the growing period once again.
Haha.
Feel like eating a lot of things recently.
Ended up.
More fat.

Photoshop love again.

Photoshop.
It's can destress but yet so distractive.
Half an hour gone.
I should be sleeping already.
LOL.


Well.
Photoshop + Photoscape = Perfect.

MIFS tomorrow.
It's more or less same with MI i guess.
I really dont understand why we took MI and have to take this MIFS as it is almost the same thing.
Fuck UTAR.
750 gone case because of this.
And it's not an easy subject.
I didn't know what i'd read even though i think i've finish reading.
Sigh~
MCQ demotivated me.

Anyhow i think at least i did something for today.
Accounting.
I'm up to chap 4 already.
Hope i can cope with it during this weekend.
And my business finance.
Have to start it tomorrow.
Sigh sigh sigh.
Really have to be more hardworking this sem.
At least until now,
I think i AM.
At least a little more hardworking than the previous sems.

Hope my hardworks isn't a waste of time.

Ah and stomach not feeling well.
The feeling of............p
But.
Sigh don't know.
Hate being a girl.
Fuck period.

Random update.

A random update to wipe away the dust.
But i guess im wasting my time.
Ah~
Why can't i just concentrate.

Having exams on wed.sat.mon.
Die.
Just past a super stressful weekend.
Currently 3 assignments down.
2 more to go.
The 2 critical ones.
Have to be really hardworking this sem.

Now that world cup has finally ended.
And congrats to Spain!
No more FIFA.
No more entertainment.
The only reason left for staying up late will be study/assignment.
Pathetic life.
LOL.

What's the feeling of this pic?
Gothic?
LOL.
Kinda like it.
I guess i shall redye my hair.

Oh ya and i got my pair of grey lens finally.
How is it?
I think it looks weird on me.
But then my friend say it's okay.
Some more say it looks like deep blue.
Sweat.
But i think i still prefer brown.

Yawnnnnnn.
Im feeling a bit sleepy.
It's already 4.03am now.
I spent my whole night youtubing make up tutorials.
Haha.
It's so addictive.
And interesting.
Nah.
I planned to study after my dinner.
But then my roommate asked her friends for group study.
So when i come back,
I've no place to study.
My room is a no no.
No space.
Too fucking small.
And i randomly saw an interesting title about make up in facebook.
And it link to youtube.
And link link link.
There goes my hours.
LOL.

Hmmm about my noon?
I actually doubt between sleep or study.
But then.
Seriously hot weather.
And ended up.
I spent my time.
Googling Torres.

Fernando Torres.
He's super hot man!
And i'm fucking envy his wife.
He tattooed his wife and daughter's name on his arm OMG!
I want such guy.
I want such a guy!
Tall.
Handsome.
Great body shape.
Rich.
And most important,
loyal and loves his family!
Torres oh Torres.
You're just so perfect.

Ok it's time to back to my accounting.

FIFA World Cup 2010

This is the first time i'm so into football.
World cup.
I'm so so addicted and i'm truly in love with football.
And it's now left with the last 2 matches.
I still remember when i watch the first match.
Argentina VS Nigeria.
Time flies.
2nd last.
Appreciate the remaining one.

Thank you ~僕たちから君へ

Thank you僕たちから君へ
Thank You ~From us to you~
- Hey!Say!Jump -

Before we say goodbye, from us to you
Sincerity is put into our grateful feelings
We wish to send this song
Today you and us, how many dreams have we seen
Many scenes, various memories
All of it is shining with you
Definitely everyone’s smiles and bonds
Will become the encouragement for tomorrow onwards
Say goodbye to the everyone today
Parting is the promise to meet again
The moments that our hearts become one
Are added, at that time love is born
Say goodbye because we’ll meet again soon
Parting is the time we think of you
Make our hearts one forever
We are connected together
Thank you for your love
The continuation of dreams is never ending
No matter where, it will overflow
Say goodbye to the everyone today
Parting is the promise to meet again
The moments that our hearts become one
Are added, at that time love is born
Say goodbye because we’ll meet again soon
Parting is the time we think of you
Make our hearts one forever
We are connected together
Thank you for your love

Ah~
It has been a long time since my last update.
Life is busy recently.
Busy for outings.
Busy for assignments.
Busy for world cup.

Well done Spain!
It's 5.30am and I'm still high over your victory!!!
xD

Shall update my blog after i settle everything.
Soonest will be weekend.
LOL.
Busy life.
Duh.

Super random outing with daddy.
Haha.
Never been so random with him for a very long time.
Hearts the moments.
:)

I'm feeling super full.
As in.
Really full.
And i keep burping the gam heong chicken i had as dinner 9 hours ago.
Weird.

I missed 1 class and skipped 3 classes today.
Well,
i wanted to wake at 11am.
But i drag until 11.30am.
And when i thought that im going sleep 5 more minutes,
the next second i open my eyes,
it's already 12.40pm.
Well.
I also don't wish.
And when i decided to attend 2pm class.
I wanted to go bath and get ready.
But,
toilet occupied.
Until 1.10pm only she came out.
Bus at 1.30-1.40pm.
No i can't make it.
Thus,
skip.
And when i think of i'll be having test one tomorrow and friday.
And su encourage me to stay home and study.
So i skipped the remaining classes.
LOL.
Well,
i kinda hope i will not skip like this week again.
My skipping is getting frequent.
It's like,
an addiction.
LOL.

July.

It's July.
Again.

Last year,
i had the worst July ever.

This year,
i just hope that i'll not have an upsetting July.