5am.

ONG KEAN SENG.

U better feel grateful and like it.

YOU FUCKING RUINED MY 21ST.
ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?
DAD?
SO CALL DAD?!
Please recall what you've done,
what you've screamed out to me.

I will never forgive you until you realized that you're so fucking over and sincerely apologize to me.
Till then.

Finally 21 But I Can't Feel Any Difference.

I'm finally,

21 years old.
And the days before I turn into 21st,
is very very very the awful.
Disappointments came in one by one on every fucking days for 4 days continuously,
even the night before my birthday.
Made me damn depress and show moody faces to my friends who have been spending time with me the whole night.
I would like to apologize to them here.
Really sorry.
But i was really touched.
When I recalled back that night.
Thank you so so much.

The batch of people who accompany me at the 1st second of my life being a 21st years old adult.
Thank you for giving me this cake with the candle pattern that I love the most!
I will charge you all for copying my idea.
I really love this cake..
It has a heart shape chocolate with wishes written on it..
Too bad i didn't get the chance to take a close up on it.
Wasted...

Thank you Jia, Annie, Yun.
The planners I believe.
And the video that they put in effort to learn korean..
Haha.
I was really touched.
Should I be very proud?
You all purposely learn korean to give me wishes!
How can I not feel touch?
ᅲᅲ
Love you girls so much ♥

My beloved 6s~
See..
Now just left 4 of us..
Chun, Joo, Wei.
Thank you so so much..
I know you all loves me even though you don't show it.
I know that..
Don't be so shy to admit that you love me okay?
Because I love every single one of you very very much!!


My one and only present for my birthday this year!
So far..

Thank you so so much my beloved bffl!
I really never expect you to post me a card..
And it reached on super good timing!
That Poh Li Jhuin really hurt my feeling.
So sad!
I was expecting you to post me card u know!
But when I'm reading this card,
I cried...
Reread for the second time,
cried harder...


Happy that I can celebrate my birthday with family on the exact day..
Although the dinner I had is with the absence of my dad..
And this cake..
Actually I asked my mum to buy.
ᅲᅲ
Pathetic.
Need to ask for own birthday cake..
Anyhow~
I got another cake for my birthday woohoo~
And read what's written on the cake.
It was written by my mum.
"Singa 21"
.................................wtf


As what my mum said..
Birthday is not a day that should be celebrating because she suffered the most pain on delivering me to the earth on this day 21 years ago..
It's very hard to carry a baby for 9 months,
and baring the superb pain to give birth to a baby.
Dear mum,
I will try to think of this everytime I angry about you.
But sometimes I just cannot tolerate so you just bare with me.
No matter how i will still love you.
Mum. Dad.
You both are the most important people in my life.
Thank you for bringing me to this world.
I love you both.

My lovely grandpa!!
Actually my grandpa loves me very much..
I can feel it..
Maybe among all of his grandchildren he loves me the most?
Or maybe I'm just being sensitive LOL
But then seriously..
It had been years since I've cut my birthday cake together with my grandparents..
Grandma was in hospital that's why she cannot join us..
It had been at least 10 years.
And on this big 21st,
he is here with me.
I love you so much, grandpa!

If you realised,
my brother isn't in any of this picture.
It's not that I don't love him.
Is that fella dislike taking photo.
This is the one most satisfied photo of mine by him last night.
Thank you so much boy!
I love you.
But you please don't ever make me mad at you.
I can be a very scary sister.


And and and!!
A surprise wishes from Mr Egg!
OHMYGOD
It was my great honour to receive wishes from Mr Egg!
That's why I must print screen it.
:DDDDDDDDDDDDD
His post really made up another mood climax for my day!
If he could pass my message to jae then it would be the best thing for the day!
Or maybe year!

Lastly,
thank you my love one,
spending the last hour of my day with me.
Which considered completing my day.
So there goes my 10th August 2011.

Yes.
I had receive a lot of disappointment from people I treasure a lot.
It hurts.
I fell.
I doubt about myself as well as my relationship with them.
Am I really not worth their time and effort to spend a little time with me?
I asked myself.

Well.
After all these things.
I've got an answer for myself.
There are still a lot of people who loves me,
treasure me,
loving me for who I am.
Those who known as true friends.
I am sorry that I might neglected you before.
I feel stupid for upsetting about what people did but not to cherish about your love and wishes.
From now on I will learn.
Not to care about people who not worth my care.
Appreciate people who treasures me,
not to those only treasured by me.
Friendship as well as relationship is not one-sided.
It has to be fair and even.

This year,
I turned into 21.
Basically I can't feel much difference,
but I hope I can head to a happier life as everyone wished me to have.
I will try my best to live happily,
and I will love everyone who loves me.
Thank you everyone for making my life so wonderful.
I shall treasure everyone until the day I have my last breath...

김재중 - 지켜줄께

지켜줄게

-김재중

눈 뜨고도 널 바라보지 못해
even if I open my eyes, I am not able to look straight at you
지친 추억에 흐려진 너의 맘을 난 찾지 못해
in those fatigued reminiscences, I couldn’t find your heart that had become blurred
많이 울고 지쳐 더 이상 못해 생각해도 너를 보면 괜찮을 것 같아
getting listless from all that cries, and when I thought that I couldn’t go on, I get all better once I see you

지켜주고 싶어
I want to protect you
너의 잘못된 나쁜 버릇들까지도 힘든 날 웃게 만드는 거야
even those bad habits of yours that’s so wrong, are what make me laugh during my rough days
좀 힘들겠지만 널 사랑해 라고 말도 할 거야
although it will be slightly difficult, I will also say words like “I love you”
먼저 내 품에 오는 날까지
until the day that you come into my arms first

웃지 못해 웃어도 기억 못해 오늘 하루도 꿈처럼 눈뜨면 사라질 것 같은
I can’t laugh; even if I laugh, I can’t remember. Today seems like a dream too; once I open my eyes, it will disappear
널 보고도 곁에 없는 것 같아 표현이 서툰른가봐 널 사랑하기엔
even if I glance at you, you don’t seem to be beside me. It seems like I am bad at expressing “I love you”

지켜주고 싶어
I want to protect you
너의 잘못된 나쁜 버릇들까지도 힘든 날 웃게 만드는 거야
even those bad habits of yours that’s so wrong, are what make me laugh during my rough days
좀 힘들겠지만 널 사랑해 라고 말도 할 거야
although it will be slightly difficult, I will also say words like “I love you”
먼저 내 품에 오는 날까지
until the day that you come into my arms first

혹시 다른 온기를 찾아 내게 떠나가 행복해 할 거니
perhaps you look for other warmth. Would you be happy if you were to leave me?
그래도 널 보낼 수 없어 baby 죽기보다 더 아플텐데
I am not able to let you go even with that baby. Because it will hurt more than dying

내가 널 사랑해… 다른 누구도 아니 네 앞에 있잖아
I love you… you weren’t in front of any others but me
내가 니 손을 잡고 있잖아
aren’t I holding on to your hands?
누군가의 품에 줄 수 없어 애써 웃고 있잖아 보낼 수 없어하는 맘을왜…
I can’t give you up to the arms of any others. I am trying hard to smile. Why is my heart unable to let you go?

===

The sweetest ever birthday present.
From jaejoong to me.

:D

Even the night before it gives me bad dream..
How can I look forward to it?

Thank you jia and yun for giving me a happy night!
(^-^)
Appreciate it.

I dislike birthday.
Seriously.
Nearly hate it.

p(´⌒｀q)

Last assignment of the semester.

Finally.

DONE!!!

It's 6am right now.

Jung Yung Hwa - 그리워서… (Because I Miss You...)

늘 똑같은 하늘에 늘 같은 하루
Always the exactly same sky and always the same day
그대가 없는 것 말고는 달라진 게 없는데
Only thing that is different is that you are not here

난 웃고만 싶은데 다 잊은 듯이
I just want to smile, want to forget everything
아무일 아는 듯 그렇게
Just like absolutely nothing has happened,
웃으면 살고픈데
smiling to live my days

그리워 그리워서 그대가 그리워서
Longing for you, I am longing for you. Because I am longing for you,
매일 난 혼자서만 그대를 부르고 불러봐요
I call you and call you by myself everyday

보고파 보고파서 그대가 보고파서
Missing you, I am missing you. Because I am missing you,
이제 난 습관처럼 그대 이름만 부르네요
now I just call out your name like a habit.
오늘도
Even today

난 보낸줄 알았죠 다 남김없이
I thought I’d let go, not leaving anything behind
아니죠 아니죠 난 아직 그대를 못 보냈죠
No, no. I still haven’t been able to let you go

그리워 그리워서 그대가 그리워서
Longing for you, I am longing for you. Because I am longing for you,
매일 난 혼자서만 그대를 부르고 불러봐요
I call you and call you by myself everyday

보고파 보고파서 그대가 보고파서
Missing you, I am missing you. Because I am missing you,
이제 난 습관처럼 그대 이름만 부르네요
now I just call out your name like a habit.
오늘도
Even today

하루하루가 죽을 것만 같은 어떻게 해야 해요
Day by day, I feel like I am dying, so what could I do?

사랑해 사랑해요 그대를 사랑해요
Love you, love you, I love you
말조차 못하고서 그대를 그렇게 보냈네요
Without even being able to tell you these, I’ve had to let you go like that

미안해 미안해요 내말이 들리나요
Sorry, sorry, do you hear my words
뒤늣은 내 고백을 그댄 들을 수 있을까요
My late confession, can you hear it
사랑해요
I love you

Wow!!!
For the first time in 2 years he offers to fetch me back Kampar!
So gam dong
ᅲᅲ
But too bad...
Time not ngam.
～(￣、￣;)～