Merdeka!

Merdeka!
LOL.
Happy 20th Birthday to my beloved maid.skeleton.boneeto.love.Fionnie

Seems like every year we can't celebrate your birthday with u.
Next time when we have BG gatherings,
we shall satu kali celebrate all of our birthdayssssssss!
Good idea right?
HAHA.

Happy Birthday my love.
Good to see that you enjoyed your day over there.
Miss u much.
Love u always.

August.

Maybe i should blog?
I felt there's a lot in my head.
But it's empty in my mind.

August 2010.
I suppose it is another turning point in my life?
I felt that i grown a lot within this month.
It's not because of i turned 20 this month.
Amazingly,
i met many kinds of people in this month.
Not to say met,
but to realise,
of the true face of people around me.
Should I be happy because finally i get to see the true colours?
Or sad because im losing friends again.
And this time,
in a bunch.

I think the pic suits me perfectly.
As in my current condition.

Im a lonely starfish wandering in the entire ocean.
Just me,
alone.

Had a great noon with the random catch up with people I hadn't meet for some time.

Random?
Seldom see their faces in my blog?
Well.
I guess you might not be seeing those familiar guest of honors that often.
As im no longer remaining in that high position in their hearts.

Stop comforting me.
No false hope thank you.
I've look through what you are.
Since you never care then why should I?
The world is fair.
I'll not get anything better if i put in more effort.
So i decided just to treat you the way you treated me.
Fair and square.

And of that,
it's time to give up.

A post dedicated to the first and oldest friend of mine.

My dear dear dear.
The first friend i have on earth.
The longest and oldest friendship i have on earth.
A friendship that never make me losing faith.
I treasure.

And today,
finally your turn.
LOL.
Seriously hope that you will have a brand new life in Singapore.
Leaving every sorrow and pain behind in Msia.
Not to say that when you back to Msia it's only pain.
But just leave them behind and let them fade.
A brand new place for a brand new happy life.
Right?

And i wish you fast fast recover your friendship with the person you care a lot.
That's no meaning going over there without her right?
But just an advise.
Friends come and go.
Sometimes you just have to accept the fact and move on.
As time goes,
slowly you will grow.
:)

Wish you all the best, puiyee!
See u again soon.
Loves.

tum.blr.

tum.blr.

===
Imma waiting.
Waiting for the day to heal.
Waiting for the day when everything come back to normal.
Waiting for the day where i can finally update with my long lost friends.
Waiting for the day when i finally stop procrastinating.
Waiting for the day when i can sleep early.
Waiting for the day when i can see the reunion of TVXQ.
More.
And more.

Imma waiting.

Random update on someday in August.

It has been a while since my last update?
No idea why am i getting lazy these days.
Lazy plus a little....moody.
Well.
Whatever.

Went swimming with puiyee on Tuesday.
Great momentsssssssssssssss.
It had been years since i last went swim with her.
And recall back,
10 years ago,
we already spending times together in ISC,
swimming,
eating,
as what we're doing 10 years later.
Friend for 20 years.
My one and only.
I treasure you.
Wish you all the best in Singapore.
A brand new start.
:)

Backed in kampar yesterday.
Skipped 2 lectures and had great moments with jia and annie at night.
Went pasar malam with them and spent the night at annie's house.
Girls chat.
Haha.
And later night yum cha with chooilin, beh, fook, kyan and man.
Super relaxing moments too.
Talking nonsense,
past,
everything.
It's a great day overall.
:)

And today,
im back in ipoh again.
LOL.
Suppose to be happy to be home.
But.
Sigh.
Sometimes there's just some imperfect things in life.
Whenever things seems to be a little to perfect,
bad things will happen.
Well i guess that's life.

Anyhow,
i had a movie tonight.

Tenshi no Koi.
Not bad.
Very pure love.
Got teared at the super end part.
LOL.
And the girl is so so so pretty.
But i think she's sorta like....... A star?
Hmmmm idk.
I didn't watch those things.
But she's really pretty.
And this movie is really pure.
LOL.
That's another version of the poster which looks like blue film.
=='"
Anyhow,
there's update for these few days.

Tomorrow will be meeting MayMay~
yeay!
And Saturday will be visiting aunty Maggie and her newborn daughter!!!
Cant wait.
:)

Relationships are so fragile.
Friendship or love.
Both the same.
I shall handle it with care.
In every aspect.
To prevent myself and others being hurt.
Well,
more to protect myself from being hurt.

Daughtry - September

Daughtry - September

How the time passed away
All the trouble that we gave
And all those day we spent out by the lake
Has it all gone to waste?
All the promises we made
One by one they vanished just the same

All the things I still remember
Summers never looked the same
Years go by and time just seems to fly
But the memories remain
In the middle of September
We still played out in the rain
Nothing to lose but everything to gain
Reflecting now on how things could've been
It was worth it in the end

Now it all seems so clear
There's nothing left to fear
So we made our way by finding what was real
Now the days are so long
That summer's moving on
Reach for something that's already gone

All the things I still remember
Summers never look the same
Years go by and time just seems to fly
But the memories remain
In the middle of September
We still played out in the rain
Nothing to lose but everything to gain
Reflecting now on how things could've been
It was worth it in the end

Yeah, We knew we had to leave this town
But we never knew when and we never knew how
We would up here the way we are

We knew we had to leave this town
But we never knew when and we never knew how

All the things I still remember
Summers never look the same
Years go by and time just seems to fly
But the memories remain
In the middle of September
We still played out in the rain
Nothing to lose but everything to gain
Reflecting now on how things could've been
It was worth it in the end

Happy Birthday Seng.

Ong Kean Seng!
Happy 21st!
Haha.

Remember what are we doing at this time last year?
We were chasing, hiding and yelling around in westlake.
I still remember i rain from wei house to nowhere with bare foot just to avoid being catch by you!
Refer to

So fast.
It's another year.
Although we can't celebrate for you this year,
but i know our wishes still reaches your heart,
right?
:)

And of all these past,
happy,
funny moments.
It will always been keep in our hearts.
We once made you a very good memory,
and that's enough.
At least there's a memory of us in the part of your birthday.
Whenever you think back your 20th birthday,
there's us!
:D
Anyhow,
this year is your 21st.
A big big year!
Glad that you can pass it with ur family.
Although I cant celebrate with u,
i send you my whole loadssssssss of loves and wishes to you.
Flood u to death haha.
Hope you can enjoy this day to the max!!!

Once again,
Happy Birthday seng!
I love you!
:D

"Helo".
Here starts again another friendship.

===
The past week is really like a dream.
Maybe it's the coming true of my birthday wish?
That's why they gave me a week like im in dream.
If it is so,
thank you.
I really appreciated it.

===
JUJU - Hello, Again～昔からある場所～ (Ballad Vers.)
I wanted to download this PV.
But i can only find the straight cover version.
I want ballad version.
No matter how many times i watch this PV,
my tears just flow like no limit.
It's a really very nice PV.
The only PV that can make me cry so hard.
So meaningful.
So touching.
Love is really beautiful.

南拳媽媽 - 下雨天

南拳媽媽 - 下雨天
作詞：LARA 作曲：張傑

下雨天了怎麼辦 我好想你
我不敢打給你 我找不到原因
為什麼失眠的聲音 變得好熟悉
沈默的場景 做你的代替
陪我等雨停

期待讓人越來越沉溺
誰和我一樣 等不到他的誰
愛上你我總在學會 寂寞的滋味
一個人撐傘 一個人擦淚
一個人好累

怎樣的雨 怎樣的夜
怎樣的我能讓你更想念
雨要多大 天要多黑
才能夠有你的體貼

其實 沒有我你分不出那些
差別 結局還能多明顯
別說你會難過
別說你想改變
被愛的人不用道歉


期待讓人越來越疲憊
誰和我一樣 等不到他的誰
愛上你我總在學會 寂寞的滋味
一個人撐傘 一個人擦淚
一個人好累

怎樣的雨 怎樣的夜
怎樣的我能讓你更想念
雨要多大 天要多黑
才能夠有你的體貼

其實 沒有我你分不出那些
差別 結局還能多明顯
別說你會難過 別說你想改變
被愛的人不用道歉

怎樣的雨 怎樣的夜
怎樣的我能讓你更想念
雨要多大 天要多黑
才能夠有你的體貼

其實 沒有我你分不出那些
差別 結局還能多明顯
別說你會難過 別說你想改變
被愛的人不用道歉

I failed to unbar my paper.
Fuck.
FML.

===
Update : Unbarred! :D

Hearts Trip.

Hello~
Im back from my KL + genting trip.
It's a heartful trip~
Met with few random people but they made my day!
Met with Seng in KL on Saturday~
Took some pics and have some chats + laughters.
Haha~
Everytime i meet him is in Midvalley.
:p
Made good memory for me towards Midvalley~

I like this pic~

This too~

Weeeee~
The lollipop balloon that i get from the clown in theme park~

Me and PuiYee~
Haha.
It had been yearssssssssss since we last go play together.
And yearssssssssssssss since we went genting together.
I think we went together before?
When we're still small small small small small.

Hehe loves our lollipop.
There's a kid around 9-10+ ( idk how old is him ) queuing in front of us.
And when reaches his turn,
the clown says "u've grown up" then push him away.
hahaha.
Poor thing.
Then we started to worry whether can we get the balloon.
But then~
Haha we got it.
The clown is so good!

Love the heavy fog~

See.
The balloon actually makes a heart shape.
Like how i hearts you.
:)

Weeeeeeeeee~
Meet with pky at night.
When i first saw her i was a bit bit shock.
Haha.
Damn her.
Her skin is so damn good.

We went for pool and yum cha at Oldtown.
And after that standing at this place and snap snap snap for almost 20min.
Anyhow,
really a good catch up session with her.
:)

Haha.
This is after we went for token games in Genting Hotel.
Look at my bro.

Take 1

Take 2

Take 3

Ah~
Our time for walk walk and chat :)
Super heartful momentssssssssssssssss.
I really love those times with u.
Chats.
Heart to heart talk.
Walk.
Blow wind.
Great!

Nice pic for ending.
:)

===
And i bumped into gor at highway on my way back.
So happy~~~~~~~~~~~~
Haha.
Really happy to see you.
You made my day~

but then when i reach home really mm fong mm day.
Got a call from utar.
That i was barred from FAF2.
Fark.
Seriously fuck.
And everything in my plan has to change.
Can't meet with szumunlove.
Have to back kampar super early tomorrow due to transport problem.
And have interview on 3pm.
Oh the fuck.

Thanks debt for helping me in completing the appeal letter.
Let wish me luck for tomorrow.

王力宏-你不知道的事

王力宏-你不知道的事


蝴蝶擦几次眼睛 才学会飞行
夜空洒满了星星 但几颗会落地

我飞行 当你坠落之际
很靠近 还听见呼吸
对不起 我却没捉紧你

你不知道我为什么离开你
我解释不能说放任你哭泣

你的泪滴想倾盆大雨 碎落满地
在心里惊醒

你不知道我为什么很小心
可现在你看不见的高空里
多的是 你不知道的事

蝴蝶擦几次眼睛 才学会飞行
夜空洒满了星星 但几颗会落地

我飞行 当你坠落之际
很靠近 还听见呼吸
对不起 我却没捉紧你

你不知道我为什么离开你
我解释不能说放任你哭泣

你的泪滴想倾盆大雨 碎落满地
在心里惊醒

你不知道我为什么很小心
可现在你看不见的高空里
多得是 你不知道的事

我飞行 当你坠落之际
噢噢~
你不知道我为什么离开你
我解释不能说放任你哭泣

你的泪滴想倾盆大雨 碎落满地
在心里惊醒

你不知道我为什么很小心
可现在你看不见的高空里
多的是 你不知道的事 

Another night.

Went out with the 6s again tonight.
Oh ya i shall start from the day.
Well,
i was supposingly attending all my classes today as i manage to wake and i already packed all my notes.
I had my brunch at the famous laksa stall with beh and the Ees.
And then i went to school,
thought that my tutor will distribute the paper for midterm as tai told me they already got theirs.
And it kinda freaking me out coz of the marks.
But then the very good tutor of mine,
haven't finish marking the paper for our class.
F.
I shouldnt wake so early and go to class then.
And since it's a class in lab,
very usual i sign in fb and play my games.
And i complained to tai that the stupid tutor is not going to give us our marks.
And thus,
he convince me to skip the class and go for laksa with them.
And he successfully kidnapped me mentally from my class.
I lied very lamely to my tutor and get out from the class.
hahaha.
My excuse was seriously super lame.
I wonder if he really trust me.

After that we went to the laksa place once again,
but it was too late.
Haha.
The laksa sold out.
So we went to another place and i had ice kacang.
I was so damn full this noon.
=='"
And when im home and online,
people are asking me whether i finished my class.
Sweat.
I wanted to,
okay?
I mentally attended all my classes.
:D
Had a short nap and i went for my 6pm class.

And when my class dismissed,
its raining super heavily.
It's good to rain as the weather is super hot but,
it's just the wrong timing.
We dragged almost half an hour in school.
Seeing them doing stupid stuff haha cheers me a lot.
And for the dinner,
just a super simple one coz tai is in a hurry.

And for the night,
tai wei chun and me had beer session together~
Super long lost moments.
haha.

I drew this when me and tai waiting for wei.
Nice righttttttttttttttttt.
My drawing skills not bad okay.

Flash version.

Well this pic gives me a feeling,
like 4 friends are gathering together.
It give me a cheerful,
warm feel.
Maybe because of the red leaves behind?
It gave a special feeling for the picture.
Or it's just my own feeling?
LOL.

After that they went for loklok~
And i saw a cute guy there.
Really cute.
:)
But chun say he's 2 years smaller than us.
Sad.
:(
Never mind.
Had a great night afterall.
:D

ps : chun and wei knew what the 6s means. :p

A night with the yellow color.

It's the first time he ever find me out and chat.
After all of the things.
This is the first time ever.
When he finds me in msn i was thinking that he's going to prank me.
Arghk and i was really so afraid that he's going to prank me.
I even called wei to double confirm.
Hahahahaha.
Well seems that i think too much.

Anyhow,
i think i had a great night with him.
For me it's really great.
Dont know about him.
LOL.
He's the closest guy friend for me in Kampar other than beh.
Really,
a long lost,
but super trustworthy and dependable friend.
You don't know how much i miss you in my life.
And how much you mean to me.
You won't know.
LOL.

A super good chat.
And kinda consider granted my wish for the beer time with 6s.
Well take u as representative.
:p

Everything is just so good tonight.
Dinner tomorrow?
LOL.
I'll just take it with normal heart.
:)

0810-10.

Happy Birthday,
to myself.

LOL.

To be honest,
the first one to wish me happy birthday,
is myself.

The first birthday cake i had,
is from myself.
Chocolate Indulgence from Secret Recipe plus a cup of free white coffee.
I had it on the 9th.
When i was driving alone on the road,
and suddenly i feel like eating cake.
Then,
i went.
Alone.
:)
Well it isn't any problem of having it alone.
I don't really mind either.
And im glad to be the first one to celebrate birthday with myself.
haha.
Why do i sounds like some sorts of psycho.
=='"

First event.
Thank you for purposely coming over to my house in Ipoh just to wish me and celebrate with me.

Beh, Sardin, YeeSieng, Rep, JingWei, RongLi.
Thank you thank you thank you.
Thank you so so much.
I really do appreciate.
:)

Second Event.
Went back to Kampar in the early morning.
And went for k-session with chooilin and kyan.
Good times.
They purposely skip class and come with me.
Feel a bit guilt but never mind larrrr.
I didn't force them.
:)

Third Event.
It's like a yearly routine that i will have dinner with them every year on my birthday.
So far it stays the same every year since i come to Kampar.
My dear foundation mates.
Thank you so much.
And you guys gave me my so-far-one-and-only-wrapped-present.
Thank you so muchhh.

Last event.
Yum cha session with elora, sushi, shir and 0908 birthday girl Carol aka sayangku.
Actually carol is my ns friend.
Haha.
But not really close with her last time.
I think i start being close with her since last sem?
This sem?
I think last sem.
When we having the same class.
And this sem too choosing the same class.
And dont know how.
We getting closer.
And she's actually nice.
:)
And her doggie - chubbie is super duper adorable!
I think i post his pic here before.
Chubbie is a toy poodle~
:)
And she brought him to our yum cha session too.
haha~

===
And i guess that's all for my day.
Although it's really simple.
Nothing special to be honest.
But,
i had a great day.
At least other than the time that i was sleeping or bathing,
the rest of my time i'm with people.
I feel zero loneliness.
Thank you so much,
everyone.
Thanks for the wishes,
efforts,
cakes,
present.
And simple wishes from fb really made me feel blissful.
Thank you everyone who ever made the effort of posting at my wall,
wishing me a happy birthday.
Thanks for the text messages,
phone calls.
A total of 200+ wishes.
And one and only special blogpost for me from Debo.
Love you.
And even m is accompanying me at such late night through fb chat.
LOL.
He's really nice.
Really.
Nice.
:)
Too bad he's no longer available.
:p
But he's a really nice friend.
The little talk with him tonight is just so great.

I love you people.
You made my day.
And gave me a good start,
of my life of being a 20th.

Now that he's totally vanished from my sight.
Is that really what i want?
Should i be happy then?
But why can't i feel a thing.

Quotes.

No one will ever know, the pain I feel inside....

Never underestimate the pain of a person because the truth is everyone is struggling. It's just some people hide it better than others.

I'm tired of being nice to people who dont give a shit about me.

Sometimes the pain's too strong to bare...and life gets so hard you just don't care. You feel so alone you just sit and cry...every second you wish you could die. Then you start thinking who would care...if one day they woke up-and you weren't there.

I could go on with my day and act like everything is okay. But as my life goes on it hurts more in every way.

You'll just never know...so many emotions I choose not to show..

I've been weak and I've been strong. I've been thru the fire and I've been thru the storm. Try to do right and I know I do wrong. Just be happy for me when my life is gone. Cause with no more hurt and no more tears, there will be no more pain and no more fears. No more people in my face that are not sincere. So smile for me when I'm no longer here.

Just because her eyes don't tear doesn't mean her heart doesn't cry. And just because she comes off strong, doesn't mean there's nothing wrong.

I don't know what I'm doing anymore. I don't know what I wanna see. My world use to be worth living for, and now it's hard enough just to be me.

Do you know what it's like to be me? Go through something not everyone can see? Do you know what it's like to walk in my shoes? Please stop judging me simply cause I'm not you...

I think I'd do better on my own, no friends, no fights,just me...alone

I'm tired of trying. I'm tired of crying. I know I've been smiling, but inside I'm dying.

Behind this innocent smile of mine, lay words that go unsaid. Words of longing, love, anger, and hate, all repeating inside my head.

Behind my smile is a hurting heart. Behind my laugh, I'm falling apart. Look closely at me and you will see, the girl I am...isn't me.

Behind my smile is everything you'll never understand.

Words hurt more than anything else can, because they last, sometimes forever.

It sucks to be alone, even when there are people all around you.

6s mini gathering.

Finally got the pic from seng.
Looking at these photos made me smile.
Even how depress i am,
looking at photos and videos with them,
those depress will be gone.
Thanks for having such a magical power.
6s treasures.

The arrival of 3 VIPs.
Haha.
This pic is taken by me.
:D
See each of them have different poses.
Joo - *camera*ready*smile*
Tai - *mm hou ying ngor*
Wei - Ehem *dai diu ditt*
Hahaha.

See my dai lou.
Really look a like dai lou.
Hahaha.

Well i personally like this pic quite a lot.
(minus my pimple part)
This is taken by tai.
WELL his main purpose in this pic is my pimples.
F him.
Haha.
And actually there's another pic taken by seng which i like a lot!
But then,
he deleted!
T___________________T
ps : that pic cant see any pimples T____T

See Joo.
OMG so cute!!!
Hahaha.
He'll kill me if he knows i upload this pic on net.
But then since this is a private blog so nvm :D

This is wei's pose for the day.
Hahaha.
Dont know why he is so afraid of camera.
Really sweat him.
And his reaction is damn fast!
I want capture when he is driving but i failed.
Well i did success in a pic but then his hand blocked 1/3 of his face also.

This is taken by me!
:D
Nice??
Btw the teh ais is really nice.

OMG i seriously need to go diet.
:(
But from my smile,
you can see that im really happy that time.
:)
Yes.
They have the special power of making me happy no matter how depress i am.
Although sometimes they are the source of my depress.
:P
Love you guys!

Another day at home.

Well,
as expected.

At least i finished coffee prince.
Of all sudden i dont feel like going back tomorrow.

Well,
shall see how.

It's already numbed.
And dead.

Just the familiar faces and voices.
It's bringing a big smile on my face through my way home.
See?
Im actually very easily-contented.

And finally.
All midterms and assignment hard times are over!!!

I just hope time could pause now.
Lunch later with 6s.
:)

===
Ended up lunch with only wei and seng.
But im happy!:D
Thank you seng for teaching me to use your dslr!
And im not sure whether you remember.
When u leave last time,
u promised u'll be back during my birthday.
Although it's not the exact date,
but you made it!!!Im really happy seng.
Thank you!
You made my day!
:D

===
Backed in Ipoh.
Well,as expected.

Nothing.

Friends?

I wonder.
LOL.
Noone ever bother to care.

But had a great moments with my family tonight.
Good afternoon with seng and wei.
Great night with family.I love them.
Those who made my day.

As for those......
Well,
friends come and go.
There's no such thing,
as friend forever.

Thank you so much.
Thanks for the chat.
And the very good method of calming down.
It still helps sometimes.

Having a hard time tonight.
Cried, teared, pained.
But i guess it's all over.
Shall get back to my study mood and fight for my last chapter.

Last paper tomorrow and all i left is final.
Last paper.
Last paper.
Last.
Finally!

Btw i dont have internet for the night.
And it SUCKS.
Fuck.
But thank god it's back now.

The nearer is the day,
the more fear i am.

Can time just pause tomorrow?

Charice - Cresent Moon.

Charice - Cresent Moon

We always were together
Walking the same road
You and me like Destiny
But then the path had parted
You went down one road,
And I went the other way

Loneliness and the feeling in my heart
Is all I have to hold it in,
Looking at the sky that’s almost just about to cry
I have to say, but I can’t help but think of you

(Ohh…Ohh…)

I am beneath the night.
And you’re not there, No I won’t cry
Won’t cry anymore, trying hard to live a life without you
Too peaceful, when I think about you… (Ohh …Ohh…)

Maybe, you’re seeing the same big star
A crescent moon, glaze into the night
It’s a night they’re bringing us together
You know I love you more than ever

(Ohh…Ohh…
Yeaa …yeaa …hey…yeaa)

The days are getting colder (colder)
Keeping my hands warm, by myself (reality)
I miss your arms so badly
Wanting you here with me
Want you here with me

Even though you call me
And tell me how much you love me, I get blue (I get blue)
And no one wanna hear it,
But I really don’t like to leave on you
So I whip the tears away…

I am beneath the night.
And you’re not there, No I won’t cry
Won’t cry anymore, trying hard to live a life without you
Too peaceful , when I think about you... (Ohh …Ohh…)

Wonder when I will see you again
Until the time again, I guess I’ll have to live
Feeling the power you gave me,
When you hold me close
And said I’ll always love you, you know….


Here beneath the night.
And you’re not there, No I won’t cry
Can’t cry anymore, trying hard to live a life without you
Too peaceful, when I think about you.. (Ohh …Ohh…)

Maybe, you’re seeing the same big star
A crescent moon, glaze into the night
It’s a night they’re bringing us together
You know I love you more than ever

Holding on my hands, can you feel the pain?
I’m reaching out to you, Crescent moon…

===
Another great song with great lyrics.

another contented. And an early birthday wish.

Just back from dinner with the 6s (exclude tai) + ah sam and the girls.
And after that a little "shopping" session with the 6s.
Well not consider shopping but just buying shoe.
LOL.

I'm a contented little child today.
:D

===
Ah~
Going to meet Seng on Saturday weeeee~
how long since the last time i meet with u??
Hmmm.
Last sem when you dropped by in Kampar?
3 months ago?
It had been so long...
I viewed back all our photos last time.
BBQ, Seng's birthday, chun's birthday, wei's birthday, tai's birthday.
So many memories flow in my head.
And everything brought only a smile on my face.
I viewed those when i sudden got depress just now.
Someone reminding me of him.
And reminding me of the day i'm fearing quite a lot.
As days getting nearer,
the more fear i got.

Fearing your own birthday.
It's a very suffering thing.
It should be a day of joy.
But im fearing of its presence.
Well i guess that case does impact a lot on me.
But i've decided to face it.
I have to face in order to get over it.
So i will not avoid anymore.
I will stay here,
face,
and overcome.
And hope that dark memory will be clean off with new, clean and colourful paint.
:)

Oh and back to the photos with the 6s.
It really,
brought back a lot of memories.
And i realised how i changed within those periods.
It's really different.
For those who experienced,
people who're with u and helping you at the moment you're most fragile,
really means a lot a lot to you.
At least,
they mean really a lot to me.
A lot until,
considered as the most i treasure besides BGs.
To be honest we're really not that close.
But then,
my trust and feeling towards them are like,
indescribable.
I really don't know how to describe in words.
Every single one of them helped me in different ways.
Every.
Single.
One.
Plays a very important role in my life,
my heart.
The past week are like the most happy week in my sem i guess?
We had days like we used to.
Study moments,
dinner moments,
spent time together from day to night to day again.
Memories.
Are happening again.
Things that,
i never ever dare to hope that it will ever happen again.
It happened.
Although im really exhausted for the past few days,
Im really happy.

Maybe after these assignment and test periods,
we'll back to the life where doing our own thing mixing our own friends,
or maybe we won't have dinner or gather or chat moments again,
i'm contented.
At least i had those chances again.
I learnt to be appreciate.
Things come,
accept and enjoy.
If it doesn't,
smile and that will be another day.
Learn to grow.
I'm on my way.

Seng is coming this Saturday~
Finally we can have the 6s moments once again!
Hoping tai will join this time...
Really hope.
It's my birthday wish this year.
Please,
grant me a chance to have a proper gathering with the people i love.
Please.
Grant my early wish.
Thank you.

Recharged.

Great sleep at the best place on earth.
Sleep from 12stg in noon yesterday to 9.30am today.
hahahaha.
Call me god.

Recharged and have to start study again tonight for the test on saturday.
then i'll be FREEEEEEEEE until final.

YEAYYYYYYYYYY!!!
IT'S FINALLY DONE!
UNBELIEVABLE!

Had been facing my assignment for more than 10 hours non-stop.
And yet,
the progress is only around 30%.
And i did the wrong thing and i have to redo again.
Damn frus.
If it's so i shouldnt have waste my time over the weekend on it.
As i have to redo all of it again.
Fuck.
Who the hell invent ASSIGNMENTS.
Bloody hell.

Im exhausted.
Mentally and physically.
I need a break.
But there's no time for that.
I wanna go home.
I'm going home on wed.
Ok.
Decision made.

ROARRRRRRRRRRRR!
I need a place to ROAR!!!!
I'm so bloody tension.
Bloody stress.
I wanna go home.
I wanna take a break.
I wanna stop studying.
I dont wanna stay at this bloody place.
I dont deserve this kind of treatment.
I didn't do any harm to any people.
I dont deserve this helpless situation.
I felt so pity for being helpless.
So pathetic.
Why is my life so pathetic?

There's a will, there's a way.
This is a false statement.
Fucking false!

Giving up.
It's just a matter of time.

The endless road is killing me.
The string of patience is breaking.
My tough mask is melting by my tears.

I can't stand it anymore.

Adopted night.

Today is the second time i felt afraid of tai.
LOL.
He seems...
i dont know how to say.
He drank some liquor and his face is so red.
And that i know his wound hasn't heal yet.
So...
Hmm.
Anyway,
thank you tai and joo for the accompaniment on this Saturday night.
Thanks for saving me from being an abandoned orphan.
The night is cold but the heart is warm.
I did something stupid again today and if without you both,
I'll be a fragile crying cub once again.
Thanks for adopting me.
I feel so comfortable when i'm with the 6s.
I wonder why.
Well,
Bond.
and I love you both.
:)

===
Recalling the last 3 night i've had.
I felt so blissful.
It's like an early birthday gift for me.
And i truly appreciate it.
Thanks.
For the appearance of you all.
:)