I have nothing to blog about.
Just wanted to post some photo of my man from Intermodulation which i cant wait to get it!!

Seducing to the max.

Cute little man.

Kimchi!

I bet he's looking at JiJi.

This time looking at me.
^^
===
After this,
it's baby time!

Super adorable Mavin!!!

And of course his brother Mason!
Actually i prefer Mavin~
Mavin's smile is killing.

===
I just finished the whole series of WGM - Adam couple.
It's so damn nice omg!
I think they will be real.
It's just a matter of time.

Super gorgeous wedding photo.

They are so cute together!!!
And they just got the best couple award from SBS~

===
And i don't know why.
I liked this guy!!
Lim Seul Ong from 2AM.

He looks a bit like Kibum.

But OMG looks at his abs.

So damn hot!
Lim Seul Ong.
Hohoho.

===
Recently my sleeping time is 6am.
And it has been fix like for few days.
How should i adjust it back to normal.

Kimchi soup!!!

I'm craving for

김치찌개
Kimchi soup.
So so so so so damn badly.

Up. Down. Up. Down. Up.

To start off my blogpost for today,
i would like to show something....unbelievable.

I never know i can look so different in 2 different pictures.
I mean.
Totally different.
OMFG.
Which is me??
@@
Seriously OTF.

Went out with su, snail and rach this noon.
Greeeeeeeeeeeeat time with them!
And watched super great movie - Narnia!
I never know Prince @ King Caspian for now is so OTF leng zai!
OMG.
I don't even remember his face in 2nd part of Narnia.
But i will remember him since today.
For sure.
After movie we went walk walk walk aimlessly and bought something.
Then we went to sit at food court and start photo session.
Hohoho.
Not my camera this time so i have no photos to upload.
Btw,
rach your bro really has a damn great cam!
I might put on my wishlist hehehe.

Tada~
Photo of the day.

Feels great to hang out with old people.
As always.

===

Tonight our soulmate tweeted a lot.
Start by micky's sudden tweet about wanting to study abroad.
What a shock.
Then jae's intrude about going to universe.
Sweat you kid.
And they started kid talk to greet Luke in Starwars in universe but because jae didn't know the language there so he ask micky to go there on his own and at the same time he afraid the aliens might thought that he is their companion as he looks so special.
Well obviously KJJ and me are on the same level.
Kids level.
LOL.
The topic went off so well~
And he says that he's happy to be loved,
saying that he's fine and wishes us good night.
But.
Just a moment.
They start tweeting about how grateful to each other,
and slowly changed to express pain.
And jae even mentioned yun and min in his tweet.
Sigh.
How many more tough nights do we have to pass through?
Can't they feel the love from all over the world?
Really hope that they can stay strong.
Be strong.
AKTF.

Finally i listen Anthena ost by HoMin,
with full attention.
I have only 1 thought after i listen that song.
Changmin ah~
I actually miss your voice so much.
So much that i can't listen the song for the second time.
I knew i would teared if i do.

ChangMin ah~
I miss you.

===
Jae version of For You is still my favourite song for now.
On my playlist,
single track repeating.

JYJ.

JYJ had their first autographing session in Korea since The Beginning had launched.
2 months after the album launched.
I can't imagine how much they've gone through to grant everything up to today.
The road is tough.
There's no back up support.
They're all on their own.
Can anyone be tougher than them?
I bet none.

And of all the translation of the conversation they made during the autography session,
this really made me touch.
This is what they responded when they being ask about HoMin.
“当然希望成员们的活动有好的结果。只是《东方神起》这个名称，只有在5个人时才有意义。在这一点上有些遗憾。我们的组合名称叫JYJ，也没选队长，这是因为我们想：是目前的状况使得我们分离，但总有一天我们一定会在一起”
Finally someone speak up.
And see.
Noone ever give up.
We are waiting and so do them.

I wonder what makes jae so dare to bring this up.
Maybe the case is over?
Why are they always the one who confess.
During MAMA,
during Thanksgiving concert in Dome,
during their Beginning concert.
They are the one who confess their feeling to HoMin.
Tell them how much they miss them.
What did HoMin do in return?
Silence.
I know it's because of fucking SME.
But why.
Why those so-call-fans scolding jae?
What did he said deserve any of your nasty feedback?
TVXQ only alive when there are 5 of them.
What's wrong about that?
They are member of TVXQ they deserve that name more than anyone.
You have no rights to scold people, bitch.
Shut the fuck up when you don't know things behind.
Back to your fucking land and shut your fucking mouth.
You don't deserve to be a fan if you don't love all 5 of them.
Leave.
Fuck off!

I hope jae wouldn't read any of those rubbish.
Not even a word.
I bet it hurts him a lot a lot.
As it's already making my heart aches right now.
I can't imagine how will he feel if he read.
Please don't.

Regrets.

I might look sucks in this pic.
But i love the feeling.

===
I have nothing to do for the whole night.
And i went youtube TVXQ.
Finding some random funny videos.
1 hours gone,
2 hours gone.
I forgot how long i'd spent on youtubing my man.
I found a video recording fans calling Jae, Yun and Mick too.
Impressive.
Yun's voice is so so different in phone.

After that,
i saw the recording of their concert in Malaysia.
O concert in Malaysia 2007.

The video i watch is the ending part,
where Mick try to speak english and communicate with M'sia fans.
After i watch the video,
i burst into tears.
The feeling of regret is overwhelming me again.
2007.
Supposingly I can attend the concert.
I even planned.
But in the end,
because the non-approve of my parents,
i can't go.
I can still remember how hard i cried that night.
Doesn't she know even if she don't let me attend the concert,
i can't focus in my study too?
Ended up i wasted my whole fucking night crying in my room when i can go to Stadium meet my man and have the happiest night ever in my life.
Your choice.
Made a damn big regret in my life.
Nothing but a regret.
A regret that can never make it again.
Thank you for the choice you made for me 2 years ago.
Everytime i think of it,
it actually makes me hate you.
And you created the damn big emptiness in my heart.
Regrets.
I bet you will defeat me no matter in how many years more.
Whenever i think about this,
i'll break down.
Whenever, wherever.

Sigh i feel like crying again.
Oh the fuck.

Dear Santa,
my wish for Christmas this year and the following and following years,
is to see TVXQ's concert,
where there's 5 of them,
with my own eyes.
Please grant my wish.
If i didn't get the chance to see 5 of them standing on stage as 1,
i guess i will die in regrets.

A damn big one.

Happy Birthday Xiah and Zuno @ Meteor Day!

Happy 25th Birthday to the lovely Kim twins!

Our baby Kim Jun Su and cool elder brother Kim Jun Ho!
May they both have a great day and have a chance to celebrate it together!
Family is always the best.
When you can share your birthday with another family member,
it feels great!
And its twin brother some more!
Taebak!!!

Hope that they both will have a happy day.
Happy Birthday my love one!
Always keep the faith,
hope to the end.

===
Another thing that keep me awake at such hour!!
Meteor!

Finally i saw meteor in real for the first time in my life!!!
And it's not only one!
It's a lot!
Not a lot as in movies where it's falling like rain.
But my a lot is as in,
a lot.
But have to wait.
But,
it's worth for the wait!
Finally i understand why people are attracted by meteor.
It's superb.
Damn beautiful.
Watch it with him and ah wah.
Under such chilling weather.
But since it's getting colder at night so we decided to give up.
Meteor oh meteor~
Such a perfect day you arrived.
1215
My first meteor day.
And the birthday of the important man in my life.
Weeeee~
Taebak!!!

And on the night when i saw meteor,
i think i saw constellation Cassiopeia too.
Maybe it's just my own-creation Cassiopeia,
but i saw it.
Hearts Cassiopeia.
The prettiest constellation and prettiest word in the world.

My man.
So damn brave went and take subway in Korea yesterday.
And you made me can't study last night.
So please give me luck in my test later.

And i'm so touch with his early morning tweet.
"언제나 겸손한 마음으로"
Always carry the heart of humble.

That's my Kim Jae-Joong.
The only one that will never change in the world.

Edge.

너는 기다리게아니그..
진짜이런나생각게..
안돼니가..

그냥 한걸음..
생각하지말아.
안돼니가.

===
Another emotional night.
Maybe i shouldn't read her blog after all.
It's leading me to the edge of breaking down again.
My heart is heavy.
Very.
Should i cry,
or should i not cry?

Sigh.
Is it because of exam or what?
Why is it so easy to break down these days.
Fuck.
I feel so weak.
It's so not me.

재중 - 너를 위해 (For You)

너를 위해 (For You)
Kim Jae-Joong

어쩜 우린 복잡한 인연에
Maybe we are people
서로 엉켜있는 사람인가봐
Tangled in a complicated relationship
나는 매일 네게 갚지도 못할만큼
Everyday I am debted to you
많은 빚을 지고 있어
Debts that are too much for me to pay back
연인처럼 때론 남남처럼
Sometimes like a couple, sometimes like strangers
계속 살아가도 괜찮은 걸까
Can we keep living on like that
그렇게도 많은 잘못과 잦은 이별에도
Despite countless mistakes and seperations
항상 거기 있는 너You are still there

날 세상에서 제대로 살게해 줄
I know that you are the only person
유일한 사람이 너란걸 알아
Who can help me live properly in this world
나 후회없이 살아가기 위해
I, in order to live without regrets,
너를 붙잡아야 할테지만
Should keep you by my side
내 거친 생각과 불안한 눈빛과
My rough mind and unstable expressions
그걸 지켜보는 너
And you watching it
그건 아마도 전쟁같은 사랑
That is a love like a war
난 위험하니까 사랑하니까
Because I'm dangerous, because I love you
너에게서 떠나줄꺼야
I'm going to leave you
너를 위해 떠날꺼야
For you I will leave

===
Super in love with this song.
JJ is not the original singer but i was addicted when i listen to him singing it in live.
The feeling that he brought out through the song.
Touching.
Loving it to the max.

Broke down last night.
I think my heart is so fragile now and it can't bare anymore hurts.
Why is it whenever i gave out my heart to people what i get in return is shit.
Fuck.
I'm so naive to believe that i actually made true friends in uni.
Oh screw my naiveness.
Please vanish from presence around me.
Don't you ever ask me any favour anymore.
I could be really mean if i wanted to.

Double locking my heart is the only way to protect myself.
Screw you intruders!

Thank you, KJJ.

Thanks for appearing at the moment when i'm missing you so much.
If there is a day I stop loving u,
i guess it will be the day i stop breathing.

I'm tired.
I'm sick of it.
So i shall stop.

Short Reunion.

Had a great night with them
Finally we had sorta a reunion with tai.
This is the first time we hang out with him in this whole sem.
First time in the last week.
Well,
better than nothing.

Quite nice pooling moments.
And very nice yum cha with my 3 treasures.
Well,
the u-know-who didn't join us for yum cha.
Anyhow,
get to reconnect with an old close friends really feel very good.

I'm happy!

===
I'm so so so into Pierrot and Nine right now.
Of the most favourite lyrics of mine in these 2 songs are :

Although it feels awkward because I've changed so much, wait
let's not be too far apart, I make a promise to the world ahead of me


I want to live under a wider sky
I want to know the meaning of freedom. Fly fly much higher

It's just.
So great.
Especially the sentence
"I want to live under a wider sky."
I truly wanted to.

JYJ - Nine

Nine (9)
JYJ
Composed by : Kim Jae Joong

너는 사랑이란 걸 아니?
do you know what's call love?
아냐 사실 나도 모르겠어...
no~ in fact I have no idea about it too...
단지 모르는 게 Ye
just don't know it Ye
가슴이 뜨겁고 막 뛰고 자꾸 눈물이 흘러 나
my heart feels hot and I keep running and keep tearing up
어떻게 해야하는 거니.
what should I do?
찾아가 무릎 꿀으면 되니...
Should I go pleading with bent knees?
나도 모르게 Ye
I don't know too Ye
계속 너를 찾고 또 뛰고, 걷다 보면 또 제자리야
I keep finding you and running, I'm back to the original spot even when I keep walking
Do you not love me Do you not want to forget

새로 시작하려 해도
even if I want to start anew
쉽게 되지가 않는 우리 사랑
It doesn't seems easy for our love
내 기억. 추억들~
My memories. sweet memories~
더 이상 감출 수조차 없는 내가 되었으니~
I have become someone who can no longer hide it
지난 날은 잊어~
forget the old days~
오직 서로만 지켜 가면 돼
We just need to have the 2 of us
이제 우린 알 수 있잖아.
know we know it, don't we
말하지 않아도 알잖아
we know it even if we don't say it out
매일, 멀지 않던 어제만 소리 치면 되
tomorrow, we will shout out of the yesterday that isn't too far
말하지 못해서 미안해
i'm sorry that I can't say it
사랑한다 그대여
i love you my dear
몇 번이고 전화도 해봤어
maybe times i've tried calling
무슨 말을 할까 고민했어...
I've been thinking about what to say...
나도 모르게 Ye~
I don't know it too Ye~
잠을 자고 일어날 때도 계속 너를 찾게 되는 거야
even as I fall asleep and wake up, I can't stop myself from wanting to find you
날 봐 지금의 나를 봐
look at me, look at the me now
너무나 변해버린 내 모습 좀 어색하지만 기다려
Although it feels awakward because I've changed so much, wait
너무 멀어지지 말자 내 앞에 세상과 약속할테니
let's not be too far apart, I make a promise to the world ahead of me

lyrics taken from Lyrics Book distributed at the venue

Credits: inhye87@twitter
Shared by: DBSKnights + oneTVXQ

Do you know.

The moment when i get back my FMR paper today.
I was really shock.
It's really disappointing although i already expected that i will get bad result.
Well,
there's always hope in me.
But when the truth came up and turned down your hope,
the feeling is terrible.
My first midterm was slightly over the passing border,
but second midterm was slightly lower than passing border,
which means i failed.
To be honest,
at the moment i get back my paper,
I really feel like crying.
Why?
Because my marks is the lowest among them.
20.5/40 wtf.
Maybe i didn't put much effort in.
But the lecture is seriously the one who made me get such result.
If UTAR has no money hire a better lecture,
then don't allow us to take this subject.
Giving someone lousy lecture us didn't help in anything!
Fuck you!
I know i'm the one who are responsible.
But i don't understand about the subject what can i do!
We PAID.
For bloody RM750!
What is the point when we paid and we study nothing from the lecture and that we have to do our own research on what is she teaching and understand by ourselves?
What's the damn point of paying you, UTAR?!
You sucks!

My mood was really at the bottom.
I hold my tears and that i know i cannot cry.
Especially in front of everyone of them.
I have to be tough.
Crying over result is so not me.
But.
I was really sad.
I found that texting is really a way to express my feeling.
At least it can distract me from thinking the thing and help me express while i'm typing it out.
And it was always you who appear in my mind.
Thank you.

Luckily i still have a 20 minutes pending drama waiting for me when i reach home.
And my mind kinda get distracted by it as it has a super sweet ending!
Kang Mu Gyul~
love.

Anyhow,
i guess i shall really start study.
Final starting next friday.
Not to say soon,
but not long either.

Screw you, test.
Screw you, finance.
Fuck you, UTAR.