Farewell, senior.

Today is the last day of my very good senior, Kiki.
Actually her last day is tomorrow but then she's not going to work tomorrow so let's assume this is her last day.
And we had dinner with her and also farewell round at Healy Mac.

Actually with her leaving, made me lost a huge part of my interest in continue working in this company.
She is a very nice senior, helped me a lot through my tough journey in this shit company.
I know, sometimes I may feel a little bad on her,
maybe due to the words she used when she talked to me,
making me have some bad feelings.
But then, she is still very very helpful.
Especially recently.. After she resigned and she has nothing to do,
she helped me on my case..
So niceeeeeeeeee!

Now that she's gone,
I can feel super miserable my future path will be.
Leaving me and Eileen in the team..
How am I going to survive through this??
I'm really shaking.
Should I leave?
If I leave, Eileen will have noone to share her tasks.
I can't be so selfish as she is a very good senior and a very good leader.
She helped me a lot too...
But if I care for people, then who will care for me?
To leave or not to leave?
Leave?
Stay?

And one more thing I realised.
Actually I'm never happy ever since I work in this company.
From day 1 until today.
Never I have one single day I go home happily after work.
Well,
if I'm happy its just because I can finally go home and leave the hell out of that shit office.
Shit job.
Shit people.
Shit system.
They should call themselves Shit Leasing.
Not Oxxx.

Well,
I'm finding job now too.
To secure myself.
If one day I really suddenly blow off,
at least I have some back up.
Or at least,
finding some other road for myself.
Maybe a brighter one,
or maybe,
a worse one.
Of course I don't hope to be the second one.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
A new environment without Kiki in office starting tomorrow.
Without, permenantly.
Everything on my own.

Good luck.